So right now, my latest semi-obsession / semi-addiction is Casio’s Baby G. I used to have one when I was in the sixth grade, it was such the “in” thing to do back then! But mine wasn’t girly like all the other girls’ watches… it was closer to their Casio’s G Shock, really. I’m not even sure if it was a Baby G anymore. This might sound silly to most but I’ve been struggling to find a watch with gold hardware to match my juicy couture / other gold jewelery, but to no avail. All gold hardware watches I’ve seen don’t really look like they could be my style. With the exception of the rosegold watch that my uncle gave me for my graduation last year, I don’t think that there have been any that I liked at all! It’s strange, because my younger sister looks perfect in them!

Anyway, here’s where Baby G’s perk comes along. They can go with anything! Better yet, they look great on their own too! At least they do in my opinion. And I think that I am one of the colourful people that can pull off something like that at this age, lol, or at least I hope I am. I haven’t seen them for years, though, I wonder if a retailer in the UAE still carries them?

Next on my to-do list: Make backups and format BlackBerry. The screen randomly stopped being useful today and something has to be done…

Lately I’ve been enjoying eating out with family & friends ♥

Even though I didn’t enjoy the manga or anime that much (Paradise Kiss), I have it running in the background now while I have some food. I am one of those people that believe you can never get anywhere in life without a university degree. But is that really true? It’s one thing to have a degree to fall back on when something goes wrong, but it is another to go out there and do your own thing and get paid for it. From what I can see… it’s not a lot of people that have the guts to do that, and even less that actually succeed.

It didn’t really bother me at the time, because I thought I’ll probably just be a system analyst or programmer; both of which I was studying for anyway. It’s not that I don’t enjoy organized schooling – because I do. Ever since I came to my college I enjoyed it so much and became really eager to learn. I even think that my school really hands “information” to us on a silver plate and that we should at least struggle a bit more to find it. We should be expected to read more and research more… but I guess I would be doing that on my own. Ever since I started doing ebusiness management (entrepreneurial business management – but really, who talked about entrepreneurs since we started?), I thought it would open up more career options for me. And I want a job that I’ll love. I want a job that will allow me to be creative, one that I will be so engrossed in that I don’t even realize how hard I’m working and how much energy I’m spending to finish what I’m doing.

But I dunno… I always thought I’d be a writer. No, I always thought of myself as a writer. I always said things like, “I’m a writer and this is what we do,” but that’s just it. Maybe I’m not a writer. I don’t even feel creative anymore, when once upon a time I used to. There was once a time when I said I enjoy doing essay questions in exams, but all I’m good at is spewing some random crap in organized sentences that probably keeps the reader entertained so I get graded on it. But actual writing? No, not in years.

I already lost my concentration and don’t really know what I’m trying to say anymore…I need to gather my thoughts and be myself again.

Anyway, I was out with Washi today and we were trying to decide at who’s house we should watch the new So You Think You Can Dance at. She said the disadvantage at her place is that it currently won’t be comfortable for hanging out { and I didn’t ask why } and the disadvantage at my place is that my tv sucks.
Washi: It has been years now, you need to get that HDTV we talked about
Me: Well…
Washi: Haven’t I nagged you enough? They’re cheaper now! They cost less than your purse does!
Me: I… will enjoy a purse more…
Washi: No comment

I was looking at some Juicy Couture charms earlier. Aren’t they just so cheery and summery? I doubt I’ll buy a charm again though…

Since I overslept and missed gym this morning, I decided that I finally have some free time to attend to my Spring Cleaning. I must be in a group of the strangest people in the world since I enjoy this…

I’ve been using my La Mer lip balm to the very last drop as it is the best I’ve ever owned, but I already have some replacements from the body shop and the tinted lip balms from MAC. I am wondering if I should slowly switch back to La Mer… I only have the lip balm, refining facial and toner now, and recall their products to be the very best I’ve ever used, although they are more costly than the norm … I’ve been a bit unhappy with my current stuff. However, the latest facial moisturizer that I’ve used (from La Prairie) has been exceptionally good, too. Maybe I should go to a store that sells both and get whichever costs less? Except I’m not too sure whether both brands exist under the same roof here. Then again, the organic products that my spa sells seem good too… I know it seems like such a ridiculous dilemma, but sometimes the facial products you use are the ones that make it look like a mess. And it is extremely hot here, it isn’t that much of an issue except I ride outdoors on weekends and will be doing so until the end of May.

This is another of the things that somehow gets twisted out of proportion in my head… my body image. If I used to weight less (a lot less) before I started exercising vigorously again, then it must mean that the weight I’ve gained is muscle weight, and I need that considering the issue with my joints. What I should be more concerned with is eating right rather than constantly guilt tripping myself for “gaining weight”.

To those of you that don’t know, I am known for having an extremely loud sneeze. Yesterday during my lesson it was kinda windy and it made me sneeze a lot. During the ride it was fine but then we went to graze our horses in a nearby grassy field…and when I sneezed (while on C’s back) he got scared and started to run away. It was SO hilarious, poor C! When I tell people that they say, “then how come you don’t get scared if he sneezes or coughs?!”

These are the magazines that I’ve been reading lately…

Today I am feeling kind of sad because I feel haunted by the past… and because of the people in my life now that know the past. I wish I could go back to ignoring it and just saying that “I don’t care what those people thought,” that “those people had so much chaos in their lives and were so self-centered that they thought a lot of things revolved around them,” – that they did not know me like they thought they did. I used to struggle with that thought so much; so much that I didn’t want to blog anymore, that I was afraid to write. Why did people assume they knew things about you that you didn’t know yourself from just reading your blog? Sure I write down any random things that come to mind, but really, do you expect me to to really get into the specific details of my daily activities, my deeper and more private thoughts? How can some random stranger on the internet presume to know something, and even claim that “everyone knows it – just because they don’t tell it to you doesn’t mean that they don’t know it,”. Moreover, why do these strangers even care? Do they have that much time on their hands?

Enough about that… I want to think about other stuff now.

This morning I went to a branch of L’Occitane and picked up a couple of stuff. For some reason these days when I buy lotions or shower gels or whatever, I always opt for the small sizes… maybe because I keep trying to convince myself that I like variety… but when I look in my bathroom and check my bath supplies, how many rose scented items have I owned over the past year? Although variety is good.. I guess it is also good to know what you like.

I actually needed to shop some more (from other places – I need a pair of sweat pants) but I didn’t really have the time. Since M’s classes for tomorrow morning were canceled…it was decided that there might be a person that would want to take me shopping! Well, the main event would be a meal but since there is a Zara, Promod, etc etc just a few floors under… why not!

Before I go off and start my night-time rituals, I just thought I’d express how overjoyed I am at how our rooms look now on poupeegirl! Even though it won’t last a very long time, I think I love it the most; along with the room from the 2009 Valentines Day event, and the items are just as cute. I am just waiting for some market releases right now…I hope the items I want for my poupee get released soon…

It seems that every once in a while, I need to have a post about my own contemplative thoughts on the world, life & faith around here. I hope that you guys have prepared yourself for this and won’t get offended.

There are numerous occasions in my life where I felt lost, confused and unsure of where things are going. Every single time in those crossroads, my sole comfort and my savior is knowing that a greater being exists out there, one that is omnipotent and all-knowing; and that my life and fate is in their hands. That somehow, someway, everything will be fine – and I will be happy with whatever is chosen for me.

Having said that, I feel that there is one detail about my beliefs that I must clarify. Although I do feel that my beliefs protect me, and satisfy me spiritually – it does not mean that life does not exist without hardship. It pains me to hear things like, “I was a good person, why is this happening to me?” because I strongly believe that hardships and difficulties are a part of life. Going through something difficult does not mean that one has fallen out of grace. It does not mean that people should say things like, “this happened to you because you believe in the wrong thing,” or “because you have no God in your life,”. It does not matter what you believe in or what you’ve been doing with your life, good and bad things exist and they will occur. It is your duty to make the best of everything – and I’m sure that no belief system out there can disagree with this!

Sometime this past year I heard a saying that I could not help but smile at, it might give you an idea of what I think of diversity. We all believe in different things and we are all free to practice what we wish. That is the beauty of this world. This is why we exist, to be different and to appreciate each others’ differences in thoughts, philosophy and so on.

Earlier in my ethics class we were talking about cloning. The class consisted of Christians and Muslims, and ultimately both religions consider the topic unethical. A question was raised – should there ever be a human clone, would it have a soul? It is “human-made”, where would it go in the afterlife? Would it even exist? To that question I quickly answered that yes, I believe that it would. However, it did not come to my realization why I believed it to be so. When I took some time to think about it, I think I can finally shed some light on it. Although humans could be “playing God” by “creating” a clone, I still believe that this clone is not “human-made”. While, scientifically, yes, humans did play a large role in this clone’s existence – they still did not breathe life into it. The same way parents do not breathe life into their child and do not give it a soul. This is the way I see it anyway.

So this post will have a little something for everyone, I decided to add a little something extra. After the Sahara branch of Elianto closed down, I realized that it was not the only branch! Though I did not verify the locations on this website since it still indicates that the Sahara branch is open… is it?

And here is my poupee going all-out on the school girl look.

Figured it was about time to unleash my “creative” thoughts over at this place. My biggest source of inspiration at this moment is the recent change in my riding lesson pattern. I’ve switched instructors after being with the same one for 2.5 years. It was just… time. Having the exact same lesson pattern for so long, and riding with groups of big level differences just wasn’t giving me much to work with. One morning I managed to watch a lesson that another instructor gave. For some reason I never thought I’d ever want to ride with them, not sure why… perhaps my loyalty to my old instructor. That lesson was everything I wished was available to me in my lessons, the schooling, the sheer determination, the speed and how strongly everyone rode.

The next morning before my regular lesson, I approached that instructor and asked if I could book with that group and she said as long as there’s space she’s fine with it. I was incredibly excited, but also – as the day came closer I started to doubt myself. Was I being a fool? Maybe I’m not strong enough, maybe I don’t know what I’m doing, maybe I wouldn’t be able to manage with that group because they’re at a level much higher than what I’m used to.

When the day came the feelings started to fade. I thought I’d take things as they come and try to get as much as possible from the experience. I hadn’t spoken to my old trainer yet at the time. When she saw me, she asked what happened. I was always happy riding with you, I explained, but the regular group that rides at the only time slot / days that I can come here isn’t able to do the exercises that I want to do, and isn’t able to jump. I didn’t want to take from their lesson time nor did I think it was productive or challenging enough for me to ride with them. She started to say that since I’m riding with a new instructor, she wouldn’t let me jump; she’ll act like you haven’t been learning to ride all these years. I smiled and said that I knew.

What can I say though? All of a sudden, I think that my riding experience has changed completely. I can’t wait to go ride now. That first day, I rode a stubborn little chestnut pony with a white face and dark mane. Her name is L and she was the pony I rode on the day where I felt I couldn’t ride. It was very easy to get her going that day, she seemed energetic and willing to work, and give me some very smooth transitions, too. Some of the instructions confused me due to being in a different language but I could manage… until I heard the words “three loops”. However, I managed to follow someone that was doing them so it was okay. We trotted over some poles, sat the trot without stirrups then started the rising trot without them too. No one stopped going when one person cantered, everyone knew how to keep their horse going… or keep them at a trot when the person in front of them started to canter. It was great fun! More canter than I ever did… also made smaller circles while cantering… not something I was ever asked to do in my other group. It made me a bit sad because for a long time I thought that I probably couldn’t steer my horse at the canter (but the pony I leased in December showed me that I could!). After that the instructor started to set up a jump, and I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to start going at it so I stood next to another person (the only one who didn’t jump), until she told me to follow them too! It was a wonderful introductory lesson that had me completely worn out after, and I was able to identify one of my weaknesses!

On the next day I rode W. I only ever had one other successful lesson on him. He’s a 9 year old pony with the sweetest temperament! He’s also very sensitive. I was riding with a younger group, but again, everyone knew what they were doing and followed instructions well. Again, new patterns and steering exercises that I had to get used to. It was a struggle for me to keep cantering for as long as I did that day but hopefully as I do it more, I’m sure it’ll get easier. W has the smoothest (and prettiest to watch) canter transition! Again, we did a small jump near the end. I’m very happy that pole exercises and jumps are a standard part of the lesson… not one that I have to specifically ask for in advance every single time.

The week after, I got to ride my old friend S, the Arabian. We started cantering much earlier in the lesson, as the only other person there is quite advanced (and was riding a horse that had a frequent buck). Makes S seem like a harmless little lamb. We had around 8 (I think?) poles on the ground that we used throughout the ride. We trotted over them with stirrups in the rising trot, without stirrups at the sitting trot, with (or without in my case haha) stirrups at the canter, then again at the canter in two point. Later on a jump was added at the end of it. Most fun I’ve had in a long time! I just need to untense my right hand so I wouldn’t keep pulling my horse’s head to the right…

Today, I rode M! I’ve been on her a couple of times, she’s lovely. Except I had to use a crop because she was so sluggish (well, it seems I allow all horses I ride to be sluggish earlier in the lesson…). Today I made sure to keep thinking about my hand, and keeping it relaxed and keeping my horse’s head straight. It seemed to get better! There were four of us in the lesson and we did this exercise where we did the rising trot whenever we were trotting in straight lines, and sitting the trot when circling. We trotted in a small circle in every corner. I’ve watched people do this before, it is harder than it looks! After that we stood in our saddles at the trot then without sitting down modified that into two point. Sat the trot for a few circuits without stirrups then rose the trot without them too. This latter was tough due to having to circle sometimes, and trot over poles, too. I kept losing my stirrups (as usual) at the canter and I kept being told to put them back in. Without stopping, I had to canter over poles, then come back and canter over them in two point, and at some point I had to canter on the flat in two point. We did this both directions, and whenever someone was cantering everyone else had to sit the trot without stirrups. When we were jumping, I decided to shorten my right stirrup because it was the one I lost more. Overall, I was very pleased with the amount of constructive feedback that I received and can’t wait for my next lesson (:

I’d write more about what I’ve been up to but I have something else to do for now. There are a few deadlines due this week and I’m not ready, eek. For now I just want to show you guys my latest polish! One coat of Blue Satin under a coat of Azure, both belong to Chanel if you’d like to check them out!