“My eyes,” started a lost soul, “they no longer sparkle,”
“What? Let me see,” replied the voice of reason reducing the distance between it and the lost soul, staring intently, “Nonsense!”
“But look at them,” it protested, “the spark is gone, the flare is gone,”
The lost soul stopped for a moment to catch its breath then added quietly, “my eyes… are empty,”
“Your eyes,” paused the voice of reason, “are fatigued. You have not been giving yourself a break these days, take a rest and the sparkle will soon return!”

After my final, I sat on a bench outside my building and started out into the open watching my fellow classmates driving away in their cars. Then, I noticed an area on my campus that I have never seen before. Or rather, I’ve glanced in its general direction but never actually seen it for it was, never under this light or time of day. A quad of green grass and beautiful bushes, something out of a fairytale. It was spread out from behind the grand auditorium until the sports complex, and there was a walkway of stones between the blocks of grass. Soon, my curiosity had peaked and my feet started making way towards that zone of mental freedom. Shoulder bag hanging on my forearm, clutching my water bottle in both hands against my abdomen, my heels were click-clacking against the flooring as I felt the knots of my head slowly slip away into the air. The sound of my pumps on the ground was in fact all I could hear at that moment, alongside the twittering of little birds that also enjoyed the view as I did. The place was perfect. Perfect! An air of serenity surrounded the area, and if anything; it should be the spot where intelligent individuals had sophisticated conversations about topics such as the UAE National Identity in 25 years: fact or fiction (but this is an entirely different topic). The one welcome disruption was my beeping phone, telling me that my ride was here & I gracefully made my way back.

Once the lost soul recollected its thoughts, it stood in front of a mirror again and looked at nothing in particular. It wondered if it was brave enough to look itself in the eyes. Once glance, it said, that’s all I’ll do. When it did, it saw something that was not there before. There it was, a hint of its former glory, that sparkle.

Tatta Hitotsu no Koi was a very sweet drama, I wish I’d seen it all earlier. Though, as many said, the ending was not all too surprising. At first I actually expected it to be tragic.

Last night, I hogged the PS3 by playing Karaoke Revolution: American Idol. Realized that I had unlocked a video, Hemmorage, from the actual American Idol show, apparently this is possible if you achieve platinum on the song Hemmorage (In My Hands). I did not know who the singer was, but he sounded amazing. Looked up the full vide on youtube, hope it works for you guys. He starts singing at0:40. By the way, it’s Chris Daughtry. If you don’t know him, he sings the second song on the Breathe video at the very bottom of that entry.

Perhaps it’s time fora new layout. I better get to this quickly before the inspiration flies away, like it always does. It is bothering me that I can’t seem to be able to write anymore. This doesn’t just go for the little stories I indulge myself into, but I suppose it goes for my blog too. While there have been entries, I don’t think there is any heart-felt passion about them, not like it used to be. When years had gone by and I haven’t touched my stories or acted on any ideas I had, at least deep down I knew that I was still a “writer”, I at least had a blog to be passionate about… but now, it seems that I don’t even have that…

Since you were wondering what twillies were, I thought this deserved a post on its own. While I do not know the true history of twillies, where the word “twilly” came from, and what brought about this wonderful little creation, I do think that a twilly is how Hermes got their segment of bag-loving-customers to be interested in scarves. The pictures (you have my deepest and most sincere apologies for the quality, the lighting and the colours) will give you a more elaborate idea of what they look like. If your bag has two handles, you can get identical doubles and tie them around them to protect the handles (or just look cute), if your bag only has one handle then that’s money in your pocket – for a more diverse collection of twillies! If you don’t want to tie them around your bag handles, you can tie them in ribbons or knots to add a little something extra to any classy old bag of any colour. If jazzing up your handbags isn’t really your thing, well then rest assured – there are quite a bunch of other uses for them! They can be tied around your wrist, your neck, or used as headbands or hairbands. Again, terribly sorry about the colours. The bag model used here is actually pink.

Currently on hiatus. I just wanted you guys to know that I’m here. That I’ve been here. There have been a lot of things going around in my mind, many of which I really wanted to share. As the days went along and I continued with my daily chores, I simultaneously wrote entries in my head. Not just entries, but fiction too. On many occasions, I even finished this story. But as I got home, sat at my desk and put my fingers on the keyboard my mind went blank.

As little sense as that makes to me, it has been happening quite often recently. When I was growing up, writing was my one and only companion that was there whether it was winter or summer, school or holidays. It was my weapon against loneliness, my shelter against boredom and my cure against insomnia. But as I go back in time to try to have an understanding of ‘what happened there?‘, it all comes together. The pieces of the puzzle become clearer.

When I wrote cure against insomnia, I started to wonder how true that really was. Didn’t writing several different stories throughout my teenage years keep me up late, sometimes even till morning? The truth of the matter remins, yet, that is not how it started out. At the beginning, I couldn’t sleep until I’ve continued imagining a story in my head – a story of which I’ve already written several parts of. A few nights would pass and the ideas would still be in my head, I would refuse to write them down because I wanted to enjoy them some more, as unnatural as that sounds. Because I knew that once I wrote them down, my ability to mold them in whatever shape I wished would cease. They already had a shape, a known form and I would not be able to imagine anything beyond it.

Perhaps it is not that I have no ideas to write about, it is just that I unknowingly wanted to make something great out of them. I want to enjoy them a little more. I want to use, abuse & exploit them till I was sure what sort of cake should come out of the oven in the end. Perhaps my hesitation comes from the question that fills the mind of everyone that is about to present something, “would anyone actually want to read it?”

For now, and until I figure things out, have a preview of some product reviews that I may write.

Writer’s block. How many times have I said something like this recently? I logon to my WP and stare blankly at the screen before deciding that nope… nothing to say today. It used to be so easy, too easy. I always had several topics to discuss, no matter how trivial they are to everyone else, I wrote about them on my blog because they were mine to write about. These days the rules of essay writing and topic introduction float in the back of my mind, dictating every sentence that my fingers attempt to type. I want to break free.

... or do I? I believe in rules and order, afterall. Pretty strongly.

My recent internship is giving me a lot of prespective on the kind of person that I am. Even if I am not exactly acting on my thoughts yet, at least I have a good idea of my work ethics and the like. I plan to stick by this no matter what anyone says.

Oops. Looks like I left my lunchbox at work today.

Horses understand us! They do, more than we think they do, especially when it has something to do with treats. When B is in his horsebox having a meal, nothing will make him look. Nothing. The other day I wanted to give him treats before we left so I stood at his door and called him saying that I have polos for him… and he came over, even though he was having breakfast! He had what we gave him before I pointed back into his stall towards his feed and said, “Go finish your breakfast,” and he did. The day after I rode T, who is … well, a ‘lady’. She never really searches my pockets for treats. While I was still on her back and we stood in the middle of the school to have a little break after cantering around I hugged her neck and called her, she looked back at me and I told her that I had polos for her after the lesson. When I got off later she started to lower her head and bring it close to my pockets (she’s a big girl!), not close enough to start shoving but low enough to remind me that I promised her a treat! She got it, too!

Here’s a hint as to why S has been acting strange lately: the sandstorm last weekish! A lot of the horses have reacted to it so it’s not surprising that one of the most sensitive ones will be acting more drasticly. But I still can’t ride him anymore, not till a trainer gets on him and shows me how to canter him on the right lead, or at least schools him over poles or something so he would switch… because he almost never does it.

Last semester when I invited my classmates over for a little dinner party at my house, some people’s initial reaction to the reason for the gathering was, “Oh my God, you’re engaged!”. Of course, I always respond by roaring into a fit of laughter that, unfortunately, gets misinterpreted as something like, “Awww… she’s embarrassed, congradulations!”. Once I regain my composure, I start to correct their misconceptions. Earlier today, Drac noticed my semi excessive employment of SMS (I was msging El Hazard, Anne-Girl) and started to give me weird looks.
Drac: You are using your phone a lot today… weird.
Me: So?
Drac: All girls I know do this when they… {hand gestures}
Me: Huh? What?
Drac: When they get engaged! {starts to give me the names of the friends that started doing this}
Me: {stares blankly}
Drac: Are you engaged? Are you getting married?
Me: {stuffs her face behind her purse to finish writing the last SMS and not explode in an otherwise quiet office}

Somewhere along the lines, Ai picked up on the story and decided to help me have a little fun.

Drac: Is SHE engaged?
Ai (with a straight & serious expression): Yes, didn’t you know?
Drac: Whaaat?? When did it happen?
Ai: Hmm… 8 months ago? Or was it 10…? Or you know, I think it was around a year ago.
Drac: WHAT? And she never told me? Do you know the guy’s name?
Ai: Yeah, it’s (insert male name here) I don’t actually remember it right now

Drac starts saying that the rest of our classmates need to be telephoned so the news can be announced. I’m not really sure if Drac has really picked up on our little fib or not, but it was kind of funny. It is such a girlish thing to assume… very unlike Drac. Really now, not all of us are anxious to get married. If anything, I think my life as I know it would change completely if I got married. The concept of bringing two lives and merging them together is just not sticking into my head at all. I’m enjoying my current freedome, and all the education and career opportunities that have been given to me and plan to exploit them as long as I can; so I’m not eager to throw all that away and settle down.

Long post? Maybe. I still have more to say but there is some work for me to do at home today as I’m not done moving out. I leave you know with pictures from my first day of work.

First off, I would like to share some inspirational videos that were posted on YouTube. Beware, though, they have forced me to activate my tear ducts and if you’re not up for that sort of thing don’t say I didn’t warn you. Please watch them in this order: One, two and three. I watched them in reverse order as I am subscribed to the user that posted them, but did not watch many of their older videos.

Next order of business; I am suffering a writer’s block thus put up whatever I have of my story in hopes of having the slates wiped clean causing me to have some form of inspiration. But maybe it’s too soon to tell.

Lastly, I have a point-and-shoot again! It is an older version of the camera that my friend Ai has. Hers is the Canon PowerShot SD850 I believe, and mine is the SD750, I’m happy with the purchase so far. The good thing about my old camera dying, though, is that I was forced to start using my DSLR more often. Its size and weight discouraged me from taking it anywhere but I guess necessity is the mother of invention, and that’s all I’ll say about that.

These pictures were actually taken with the camera that died. A tray of chocolates that a friend brought over. I am not permitted to go anywhere near it as I have a sugar induced headache!