Today a classmate asked if I were the type of person that would see something bad happen and turn a blind eye. I said that it was difficult to say because although things bother me to the point of sleep-loss, I still won’t always speak up; or will take a long time to. Sometimes I think things are bigger than me, and at others I think that bigger people want these things to happen so even if I speak up nothing will change. But maybe that on its own is unethical. I’ve always thought that a person that will speak up or a person that will not be able to relax until they’ve spoken up whatever consequences followed – that person has a pure heart. Perhaps innocent and naive, but pure nonetheless.

For some reason, my mind went to an ethical issue going on at her workplace. It was something that she mentioned earlier in the semester and it just stuck because if I were in her shoes, I really don’t know what I would have done. But she then asked, “but what if this was happening to a loved one?”, I didn’t really want to pry into her personal issues but my question was, “what does this person think of what’s going on?” to which she answered that they do not know about it. I asked, “Are you sure?” but she was not. She said if she looked at things in another way, the person may very well have a good idea of what is going on and is merely choosing not to confront it. They could be using the situation to their advantage. But I don’t know. I am not sure what I would do. It depends on the person, how close I am to them, how openly I can speak with them and the situation itself. Where does one draw the line between “I think you need to hear this,” or “It’s better that you don’t know”?

I hope that whatever is going with her gets resolved and that she can finally find peace.

The experience itself (going to Abu Dhabi last week) was extremely eye-opening. Truthfully I have already made my peace with not being selected, or being selected and being forced to withdraw. Whatever happens happens. The trip was long and mentally exhausting, but worth it. It is a beautiful city with structures superior than any other in the Emirates. Gorgeous parks surrounded it, they were almost at every street as we drove inside it, which gave it an air of peace through the terrible heat. Meeting all the other students who made equal effort to be there was fun, they were all intelligent overachievers that truly deserved to be there. The interviews and activities that we attended only served to teach me more about myself. And you know what? I love it. I love me! If that’s all that I’ll ever get from this event, then I couldn’t be happier.

Since I overslept and missed gym this morning, I decided that I finally have some free time to attend to my Spring Cleaning. I must be in a group of the strangest people in the world since I enjoy this…

I’ve been using my La Mer lip balm to the very last drop as it is the best I’ve ever owned, but I already have some replacements from the body shop and the tinted lip balms from MAC. I am wondering if I should slowly switch back to La Mer… I only have the lip balm, refining facial and toner now, and recall their products to be the very best I’ve ever used, although they are more costly than the norm … I’ve been a bit unhappy with my current stuff. However, the latest facial moisturizer that I’ve used (from La Prairie) has been exceptionally good, too. Maybe I should go to a store that sells both and get whichever costs less? Except I’m not too sure whether both brands exist under the same roof here. Then again, the organic products that my spa sells seem good too… I know it seems like such a ridiculous dilemma, but sometimes the facial products you use are the ones that make it look like a mess. And it is extremely hot here, it isn’t that much of an issue except I ride outdoors on weekends and will be doing so until the end of May.

This is another of the things that somehow gets twisted out of proportion in my head… my body image. If I used to weight less (a lot less) before I started exercising vigorously again, then it must mean that the weight I’ve gained is muscle weight, and I need that considering the issue with my joints. What I should be more concerned with is eating right rather than constantly guilt tripping myself for “gaining weight”.

To those of you that don’t know, I am known for having an extremely loud sneeze. Yesterday during my lesson it was kinda windy and it made me sneeze a lot. During the ride it was fine but then we went to graze our horses in a nearby grassy field…and when I sneezed (while on C’s back) he got scared and started to run away. It was SO hilarious, poor C! When I tell people that they say, “then how come you don’t get scared if he sneezes or coughs?!”

These are the magazines that I’ve been reading lately…